Author balli_jaswal explores why female feticide still exists in some communities.
. But simply reading about this issue made it an abstraction, something other women did. Even though it was happening in the South Asian diaspora, I was not expecting that the women involved would be only one friend removed from me.Gender preferences played a major role in my upbringing. My brother rarely did the dishes or picked up after himself. I did more chores, and also had to be trained to iron and cook.
The inequality was so ingrained that nobody saw it as inequality. “We’re treating you the same,” my parents insisted, confounded by any suggestion that they were traditional. As first-generation Indian migrants in Singapore, they eschewed values that associated them with the old-fashioned village life their parents had left behind. Some things had obviously stuck, but they didn’t notice.
The most honest conversation I had about gender privilege was with my aunt when I was 11. Although I usually disagreed with her traditional views, I always found her unwavering position refreshing – you could respectfully disagree with somebody who sat staunchly on one side of the fence. The conversation came about after my cousin and I overheard my aunt chatting on the phone with a woman who had given birth to a girl.
My aunt’s logic sat uneasily with me, but I accepted it. I was too young to articulate that she had just outlined problems caused by men. Why wish away the lives of our daughters instead of teaching our sons not to inflict this pain on them? I’ve since heard other cultural justifications for the gender preference. Daughters leave the family home to take care of their in-laws, so their parents are left abandoned. Daughters are a financial burden; their dowries and weddings are a huge expense. There is also the societal pressure to tirelessly police girls’ sexuality, lest their reputations are ruined.
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