What It’s Like to Have All Your Decisions Made for You by a Man

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What It’s Like to Have All Your Decisions Made for You by a Man
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to ask my father’s permission to leave our property and one of my brothers must escort me anywhere I go, even to places like the doctor”

Photo: Olivia Arthur/Magnum Photos Women of the World is a series of snapshots of how women live, in honor of International Women’s Day. The conservative Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is notorious for its “guardianship system,” under which Saudi women must have a designated legal male guardian — usually a father, brother, or husband — who can make decisions on her behalf.

I’m unmarried, so I still live in my family’s home. I have to ask my father’s permission to leave our property and one of my brothers must escort me anywhere I go, even to places like the doctor. Usually I’m stuck in the house because women in Saudi Arabia aren’t allowed to drive. . My brothers aren’t as conservative as my dad, but they are just as protective.

Because I am such a strong-willed, opinionated person, I coped for a long time by going into complete denial. I convinced myself that every decision that my father made on my behalf was one I’d made on my own. It was easier for me to accept his decisions if I could believe that they were mine, too. I didn’t want to believe that I’m weak. I refused to believe that I was a 20-something whose dad chose everything for her. But now I know that he did then — and he still does.

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