Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: There is a wonderful hostess in my neighborhood who really goes all out in terms of food and ambiance for her guests. She is a mentor to me, inspiring me to host gatherings and reciprocate hospitality.
Yes, Miss Manners, the tiny sandwiches that everyone is popping into their mouths took 12 hours of her time, and she wants to make sure that is noted. The responses of her guests are divided between eye rolls and helpful attempts to discourage her toil in the future. My fiance told her she should check out the deli on the corner.
As this involves a valued mentor, the most selfless thing you can do, if you can stomach it, is to listen to her descriptions so that the other guests don’t have to -- and, Miss Manners hastens to add, make sure not to replicate such behavior at your own parties.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years, and we just graduated from college a year ago.
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