Miss Manners: What are the rules for passing food at family-style dinners?

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Miss Manners: What are the rules for passing food at family-style dinners?
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Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.

Can you please advise me on the proper way for individuals to serve themselves when passing dishes at a family-style dinner?

Consequently, I find myself feeling surprised and irritated when I’m the one extending the breadbasket to the requester and they take a roll -- quite often without an expression of thanks -- and happily begin buttering it while I am left holding the basket. I’m then responsible for finding a place to set it down before I can resume my meal.Family-style dinners are, by definition, informal.

My husband’s cousin mailed a gift and signed the note, “With love from .” I suppose she ran out of room for the six grandchildren’s names!

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