Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: My husband and I were raised not to put more food on our plates than we would eat, and to stay seated during a meal unless we asked to be excused. Our adult daughter’s boyfriend was apparently taught differently.
We find this to be rude! The waste also bothers me. We have spoken to our daughter about it, and she replies that it’s no big deal. She says that we are not being friendly hosts. She spends way more time with his family because they are more “chilled out” and don’t mind him giving food to their dogs.
Abhorrent though his manners may be, you would do better to treat him as the guest that he is -- particularly as you no doubt wish to be consulted on the more pressing matter of whether he should become a permanent part of the family.I have noticed, even among people I otherwise consider well-mannered, a new trend. During a meal, when someone wants to speak while eating, they hold their hand up to obscure their mouth.
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