Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
To my knowledge, longstanding tradition dictates that family and friends wear black attire to a wake and/or funeral. Over the years, I’ve noticed fewer and fewer people strictly following this practice.
Although I prefer to be respectful and follow tradition when attending a funeral , I don’t see any problem with people just dressing neatly, perhaps wearing subdued colors other than black, especially at a wake.Funerals have lightened up considerably, and not only in the matter of dress codes: If you don’t want your friends telling jokes at your expense, it would be best not to die at all.
When you see the televised funeral of a high official, everyone attending will be wearing black, in keeping with the symbolism of mourning. The speeches will be personalized with occasional light touches, but chiefly center on the person’s contributions to society.About once a month or so, when I attend a social function, I bring a gift or floral bouquet to the host.
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