Miss Manners: I have stage 4 cancer and the prognosis is grim. What do I say when someone tells me, ‘You’re going to beat this’?

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Miss Manners: I have stage 4 cancer and the prognosis is grim. What do I say when someone tells me, ‘You’re going to beat this’?
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Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.

Miss Manners: I have stage 4 cancer and the prognosis is grim. What do I say when someone tells me, ‘You’re going to beat this’?: I was diagnosed with a rare and highly aggressive form of cancer, which is at stage 4 and has spread to multiple organs. Because of its rarity, there has not been a lot of research done, and the prognosis is grim.

I don’t want to go into a detailed explanation of my diagnosis, and also don’t want to rule out a miracle. So I’m at a loss as how to gracefully respond.: I am the third daughter in a family of seven children -- six daughters and one son, with my brother being the youngest.

This used to infuriate my father so much that he started replying, “No, I just really love to have sex with my wife” in order to shock people into silence. It was effective, but equally crass.Can you provide a response that would answer the question truthfully and politely, while also giving some indication that the question itself is insulting and intrusive?“I’m not sure I understand. Of course they wanted all of us.

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