Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I am a 50-year-old man who works in a field where the majority of staff are women. I am in management and find myself referring to staff as “girls” in conversations with peers and leadership above me.
How should I handle these situations in the future? Should I try to apologize for my mistake in referring to staff as “girls,” and if so, what would be the best way to do this? I am working very, very hard to break this horrible habit and do better.Work harder. You learned not to put your hand on a hot stove at a young age and still rose to the level of a manager -- this cannot be so very difficult.
Is the receiver of the elevated opinion supposed to be grateful? To me, the statement is filled with condescension and snobbery, implying a lower status to the receiver.That rather than suppose the speaker’s opinion started low, it must now seem impossibly high. Miss Manners encourages you to assume as much, saying, “Well, I’m glad that I could exceed your already lofty expectations.”I recently realized that I may be doing something a little too much: saying “thanks.
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