How one Vogue writer learned to stop being a “chill girl” and start being herself:
Somewhere along the trek between girlhood and womanhood, I went through a phase of trying excessively hard to be the most chill, fabulously blasé person ever. The problem was that I was not chill. And I hated it. I yearned to be unburdened from the anxieties of caring and to revel in the magnetism of a breezy attitude.
Thankfully, what I’d eventually come to understand is that having needs and expectations doesn’t make me difficult or some insatiable monster. And a fixation on being perceived as nice or “sooo chill” is a colossal waste of time. This cultural need to pathologize women who not only take the reins of their identity but also openly engage the full range of their feelings—you know, as a healthy human being tends to—remains a fraught battle as old as time.
As the saying goes, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and these habits won’t vanish overnight, but here are five tried-and-true ways to begin ridding yourself of the chill-girl trope and the stifling expectations that accompany it.Once a people-pleaser realizes the world won’t crumble into smithereens if she says no or changes her mind, it’s a new day. “I’m not crazy about it.” “I don’t like that.” “I don’t want to go.” “That doesn’t work for me.” “I’m uncomfortable.” “I’m not happy.” “Stop.
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