Ask Lucas: My friend keeps talking over everyone in the group. I need some bad advice.

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Ask Lucas: My friend keeps talking over everyone in the group. I need some bad advice.
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Lucas has an arguably unhinged but potentially effective solution for this kind of behavior.

Do you ever wonder if stock photo models are embarassed by the ways their photos are used? If so, my apologies to these two for being associated with Ohio's Most Unhinged Advice Column. : I get together with a couple different friend groups, and it never fails that one person manages to outtalk everyone. Should I be more aggressive and interrupt or be the polite person that I believe I am and feel unheard?: Sorry to hear your friends don’t know how to communicate.

Who knows? And who cares? The point is to leave your friends speechless so their speech can’t override your speech. Chant the word “umlaut” over and over again while beating your fist against the table. Describe to them in gratuitous detail the process of getting your goldfish an abortion. Make unblinking eye contact and launch into a lengthy monologue about how Sacred Geometry proves God is a triangle. Talk about baseball. Or just start yelling.

This is essentially what jazz musicians do with their instruments. You’re improvising, creating tension and occasionally making noise. The only difference is instead of learning how to play one of the most technical and tonally rich styles modern music has to offer, you’re scaring away everyone who has ever loved you.

Usually, when people talk over their peers, it’s the result of insecurity. At least that’s what I think, but who knows? I’m not a psychologist. I’m not even a real advice columnist. I’m just some guy who says the most insane things my editors will let me print.

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