Adult children often want answers about parents with narcissistic tendencies.
Parents with narcissistic qualities can have a lot of bravado but little ego strength.The term narcissism comes from Greek mythology. The legend describes Narcissus falling deeply in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to look away, Narcissus eventually falls into the water and dies.Theory of mind is a complex set of neurophysiological and social-emotional experiences that allow us to perceive ourselves, others, or the world with accuracy.
We come to understand that these differences are common, that we can experience empathy for others, and that our differences can be navigated without cost to our emotional integrity. In other words, theory of mind supports us in having compassion, self-awareness, and emotional insight regarding ourselves and our impact on others.
In childhood, this hierarchy with the parent allows a child to feel safe and secure and to learn, grow, and ideally know their parent as consistent and capable. However, with narcissistic parents, their dominant familial position results primarily from the unhealthy power they demand and the change-back messages they assert.
Therefore, we hypothesize that, deep down, adult children of parents with narcissistic behaviours know that this hierarchy is actually a ruse. And, that once they decide to offer a challenge and, and emptiness. In other words, seeing the narcissistic parent now"weakened" and vulnerable can leave the adult child feeling awkward and confused; the resulting change in the role dynamic may feel uncomfortable, wrong, and even risky.
Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.
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