The cat and vibrator lifestyle is being adopted by more and more millennial women 🐱
The first time someone faded me, I did not take it well. I sent the male in question untold number of reproachful, schoolmarmish texts. I ranted to my friends until they couldn’t take it anymore. Later the same week, when the brother of a man I’d slept with months before invited me to a games night attended mainly by people who were strangers to me, I went. I drank the better part of a mickey of whiskey and proceeded to make out with my host.
My distress wasn’t merely about having been rejected, though that was part of it. The shock came from the fact that I had taken such pains to clearly articulate what it was I needed, had invited him to have an open conversation and then ended up being entirely disregarded. When I embraced my own untimely spinsterhood last winter, I called my friend Kristan, whom I’ve known for half my life. She and I had been through similar versions of hell with men. “Get a cat,” she said over the phone from Montreal—at home on a Friday night. “And a good vibrator. I recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand.” We were both unabashedly staying in. I was pouring a glass of wine and burning the shit out of a grilled cheese, prepping for an UnReal marathon.
My dear friend Paola, a 33-year-old Toronto journalist, hasn’t felt this pull for some time. She does want a long-term relationship, but she just doesn’t see it happening. She finds men are failing at baseline tasks like keeping plans, remembering birthdays and adequately acknowledging her existence in public.
Men’s bad behaviour has ceased to surprise us. Rather, it’s become so predictable that it’s now a punchline. This guy Kristan was hooking up with, for example, told her one night he was sick and staying in. She went out with friends, and saw him at the club. When he saw her, he proceeded to run away in order to avoid being accountable for his lie. Obeying her mother’s sage advice, she called him until he picked up and demanded answers.
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