I don't know how I do it either. But I have no choice.
As a single mom, this is the phrase I hate the most. I know the person who is saying it means well. But it’s not as reassuring as they may think it is. Frankly, it can be patronizing sometimes. They’re trying to say that they don’t think they’re capable of doing what I do, but most people would be surprised at how much they’re capable of when they don’t have a choice.. But I’m going to let you in on a little secret: I don’t know how I do it either.
While I have a great support system, including my son’s dad, the bulk of caregiving falls on me. All single moms have a different way of handling motherhood. For me, making peace with being a single mom had a profound impact on how I live my life. That peace brings a little grace to those times when I feel like a complete failure on all fronts. Those days happen a lot. Motherhood is by no means easy, and for those of us doing it alone, that increases by a million.
You want to know how I do it? I don’t get an adequate amount of sleep every night. Single moms have to do things whenever they can find the time. At night, after my son goes to sleep, I like to revel in the silence. That’s my time to unwind from the day and decompress. It’s the part of the day I look forward to the most, even though I know I’ll hate myself in the morning. Privacy and time to myself is something I rarely get, so I’ve learned to make it where I can.for cookie recipes though.
Most of the time, I barely know what day it is. I’m going through the motions, getting myself from one thing to the next. Let me tell you, it’s not the most ideal, but as many single moms know, it’s our norm. We’re simply putting one foot in front of the other doing what we need to, day after day. As monotonous as it can be, sometimes I find the repetition comforting. Like, at least there are some things I can count on when things are uncertain. There will always be a mountain of laundry.
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