Admitting what you’ve done — the decisions you’ve made and the losses you’ve incurred — can sting.
In the 2000 movie “Boiler Room,” a shady stockbroker scams a hapless investor into losing his life savings. Pressured by the broker, the investor keeps shoveling more money into worthless shares. All along, he keeps reassuring his wife that they will make a fortune as he sinks deeper into debt. In the end, his poor judgment causes him to lose his family.
“For some folks, the lying is just a natural tendency to hide some of the lack of awareness and understanding they have of their financial situation,” said Jim Grace, a certified financial planner in Medfield, Mass. “And sometimes, it’s not lying so much as a lack of disclosure over credit card debt or being upfront about their spending.”The second phase is equally hard: identifying why you acted the way you did, taking steps so that it doesn’t happen again and perhaps making amends.
Eventually, the client acknowledged “trips to the casino.” It became clear that these trips were sapping his savings. When Grace realized the severity of the situation, he referred the client to a financial therapist for counseling. A quick glance may show indulgent purchases for, say, an electric bike or jewelry. If the client justifies such expenditures as necessary given his increasingly long hours at work, the adviser might categorize these purchases as “compensatory consumption” — a means of compensating for the sacrifice of burning the midnight oil.
Digging through past brokerage transactions and following the paperwork trail, Henson often discovers that the client rejected a former adviser’s recommendation.. “I let it go but I also educate them,” he said. “I may find the reason they didn’t accept the old adviser’s recommendation is that they didn’t understand it.”
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