When Stress at Work Creates Drama at Home

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When Stress at Work Creates Drama at Home
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Work is seeping into weekends and other personal time. That’s turning many couples’ after-work hours into a minefield.

By Sue Shellenbarger July 15, 2019 5:30 am ET Work is seeping into weekends and other personal time, and women are logging more hours on the job.Newsletter Sign-up People who put in long days on stressful jobs tend to carry the strain over into their lives at home. They start arguments or withdraw emotionally and neglect their partners after work—a pattern researchers call the spillover effect.

Share Your Thoughts How do you handle stress in your household? Any tips you can share? Join the conversation below. Adapt to inborn differences. Some people have a fight-or-flight response to stress. When challenged, they may resort to flight, and pull into a shell to calm themselves and avoid starting a fight. Others have a tend-and-befriend response to stress, an impulse to seek comfort by approaching others to talk, says Adela Timmons, an assistant professor of clinical and quantitative psychology at Florida International University.

Change your routine. Nathan Davis’s job as an engineer on large infrastructure-construction projects is extremely stressful. He and his wife, Rachel Goodlad, used to bicker after work about small issues, such as forgetting an errand. “We had all this friction in the family, and it was hard to identify what the problem was,” says Mr. Davis, of The Woodlands, Texas.

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