Dear Care and Feeding: I’m worried this is going to be chaotic for everyone involved.
I’m a white single mother to a mixed-race 6-year-old boy. His father is Black and only drifts through our lives occasionally; I’ve been on my own from the pregnancy onwards. I get very little help from family, and most of the time I’ve been proud of independently making this life work for me and my son. We live in a very small town of around 2,000 people, and it’s very white.
He wants to call “Na-na” and visit her all the time. At first, I thought I could walk the edge of the knife by letting him stay at her house without me, asI can’t stand to be around her for very long. I realized pretty quickly that this wasn’t going to work—it gives her an opportunity to feed him these narratives without check; she will facetime the other relatives and it’s been a good way for all of them to maintain a relationship with my son while excluding me entirely.
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