WASHINGTON—Citing a series of fatal malfunctions dating back to 1777, flag manufacturer Annin & Company announced Monday that it would be recalling all makes and models of its popular American flag from both foreign and domestic markets.
Flags affected by the recall range from halftime-show extravaganza models to the smallest lapel pins.
Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education.
"At first, we wanted one of our flags in every home in America," Burman said. "Unfortunately, the practical applications of this product are far outnumbered by the risks it presents. Millions have died needlessly, and when you ask people why, they point to the flag."Added Burman, "Frankly, we should have pulled it off the market decades ago."
"When combined with alcohol, excessive patriotism, grief, or well-intentioned but ultimately misguided ideals, U.S. flags transform into ticking time bombs, just waiting to go off," Burman said.Manufacturers are addressing the flag's unsafe and potentially lethal alignment of stars and stripes by designing a revised model that they hope will cut down on deaths in the United States and overseas, where experts say the flag is nearly 1,000 times as deadly.
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Report: All Things Aside, American Flag Still Looks Pretty Good Majestically Billowing In WindWILLIAMSBURG, VA—Noting how striking its bold colors appear framed against the blue of the daytime sky, a report published Thursday by the College of William & Mary concluded that, all things aside, the American flag still looks pretty amazing when it billows in a steady breeze. “We found that if people simply look at those stars and stripes swelling and unfurling in the wind and can just separate themselves from whatever might be called to mind, the American flag remains a spectacular sight to behold,” said lead researcher Andrew Hamill, adding that whether it is set against a sunset atop a hill, rippling gently outside a family home, or waving from a float in a Memorial Day parade, the U.S. flag—just the flag by itself, without any of the associated thoughts or feelings that might come with it—has an undeniably august quality. “There is still something moving and beautiful about the sight of Old Glory fluttering high above and the sound of her fabric rustling and snapping in the wind, provided you push everything else to the side. So long as you can just focus on the flag and the flag alone, she’s still something special.” The report further confirmed that regardless of connotation or symbolism, the British Union Jack invariably looks cool.
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Nike pulls US sneaker featuring slavery-era flagNike pulled the Air Max 1 USA shoe, which included a Revolutionary-era US flag with 13 white stars in a circle on the heel, after activist Colin Kaepernick said the flag would be offensive because of its connection to an era of slavery.
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The flag shirt you're buying for July 4th is technically illegalNike's idea for their 'Betsy Ross' sneaker reflected a growing interest in timeless apparel that features the U.S. flag or its colors, as consumers trend toward buying fewer articles of clothing and stick to classic pieces.
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