![[Two Pronged] My girlfriend waited too long to tell me she's not a virgin](https://i.headtopics.com/images/2023/1/9/rapplerdotcom/two-pronged-my-girlfriend-waited-too-long-to-tell--two-pronged-my-girlfriend-waited-too-long-to-tell--1612337144399380480.webp)
'She told me she wanted to save herself for marriage and I respected that. I have no urge to marry her anymore.' TwoPronged
Rappler’s Life and Style section runs an advice column by couple Jeremy Baer and clinical psychologist Dr. Margarita Holmes.
Post-World War II developments, including the invention of the birth control pill and the steady drift away from religion towards a more secular society have, however, made the strictures against premarital sex and in favor of virginity somewhat anachronistic, a trend more evident in Western culture but stoutly resisted inter alia in the Islamic world and those few remaining bastions of Catholicism such as the Philippines.
Marriage, particularly in the only country in the world that does not permit divorce, is not to be undertaken lightly and trust is a vital element of any relationship. It seems that your relationship was built on a lie and it is therefore reasonable for you to wonder if there are other lies still to be revealed.
Finally, as for your other question “What would you do?”, you are asking the wrong person. I would value sexual experience over virginity every time!Thank you very much for your letter. Like Mr. Baer, I feel what bothers you most, far more than her not being a virgin, is her lying to you ever since the subject of sex between you came up. Should I be mistaken, please write to us again, as this is something cognitive behavioral therapy can address without too much difficulty.
The difficult thing about telling anyone courting you that you are no longer a virgin is that they invariably think: “Well, if she decided to do it for him, why not for me?” So, women choose not to tell their potential suitors to begin with, or, quickly move on to that decision the minute they encounter such sexist reactions. Ana’s situation might be similar.
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