To my children for the day I leave you

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To my children for the day I leave you
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One day, hopefully not too soon, I will kick the bucket, buy the farm, croak. I am completely prepared to go first.

I am completely prepared to go first. In fact, it’s a prayer I have prayed many times. Living in this world without you seems unbearable and the natural progression of life is that you will say goodbye to me.

First, when you came along you completely took me out of my comfort zone in a really good way. You made me stand up for you and for me. You made me touch alligators and hold snakes and go on really scary rides. For you! And I loved every second of it. Thank you for making me learn more about who I am.

You will remember lots of good times we shared but you will also remember bad ones. Times when I let you down or didn’t say the right thing. Don’t feel guilty or sad for those memories. They were teachable moments. I was chosen to be your mom, so anything you leaned along the way, both good and bad, actually learn from it. Use that to make you better and stronger. Don’t dwell or be angry.When you were older and wanted to spend more time with friends, I understood.

I hope you will remember me as perfectly imperfect. I pray your memories are filled with more good times than bad. I hope you know how much you were loved and how I tried my very best to be everything you needed and deserved. I really tried.

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