'I never felt like one of them.'
. But as I got older, I started to realize that I didn't exactly fit in. The impact of that through my teenage years was pretty damaging.I would try really hard to be who I thought my brothers and sisters wanted me to be, and when I came up short, I blamed myself.is difficult to handle emotionally. But figuring that out as a teenager can be life-changing. For me, it translated into a low self-worth, no self-esteem, and reckless behavior.
I would try really hard to be who I thought my brothers and sisters wanted me to be, and when I came up short, I blamed myself. I turned to alcohol to self-medicate. There were times when I was suicidal. My siblings had a different mother. There were five of them and one of me, so I always felt left out. Watching their close bond, having it in front of my face every day, made it even more difficult to accept the fact that I never felt like one of them.
Entering adulthood with this family dynamic was still difficult, but I soon realized that I had the ability to make my own choices. That was the turning point for me. I was an outsider in my own family, but I. I started to realize that I was capable of being accepted exactly as I am. I became part of a chosen family — a group of friends that loved and accepted me more than the family I was born into ever did.Ohana has a whole new meaning for me now.
My new family taught me the power of choice. It's hard to be an outsider in the family you're born into, but you don't have to accept that life. You can choose who you spend your time with and who you let in. When my son was born, I didn't want him to experience the same pain I did growing up. And thankfully he won't. But I learned an important lesson: being an outsider in your own family doesn't mean you're worthless.
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