‘The Watchers’ Review: Dakota Fanning Gets Stranded in Ishana Night Shyamalan’s Suspense-Free Horror Debut

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‘The Watchers’ Review: Dakota Fanning Gets Stranded in Ishana Night Shyamalan’s Suspense-Free Horror Debut
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  • 📰 THR
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 61 sec. here
  • 3 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 28%
  • Publisher: 53%

Fanning plays a haunted woman who gets trapped in an Irish forest with three strangers and a parrot.

, the 23-year-old daughter of You Know Who, fails to make that list, despite having what appear to be considerable resources thrown at her. Whiledoes yeoman’s work in the central role, this is basically the usual Irish hooey about faeries and changelings and other pesky entities dressed up in ponderous Jungian doubles theory.and adapted from the novel by West Irish author A.M.

Mina’s boss asks her to deliver a splendid golden parrot to a zoo near Belfast. Before setting out on the drive the next day, she takes the bird home, dons a brunette wig and hits a local pub, picking up a random guy and convincing him she’s a ballerina, visiting from America to perform. Whether Mina’s nightlife disguise has any bearing on the story is debatable.

The stranger leads her to a concrete, steel-doored shelter she calls “The Coop,” which she shares with fellow stranded travelers Ciara and Daniel . They inform Mina that woodland creatures known as “The Watchers” come every evening at sunset to observe them until morning as they stand in a line in front of a wall that becomes a mirror. It’s never explained how the Watchers can see through it, but whatever.

Shyamalan keeps throwing more plot at us without ever building suspense or doing anything particularly scary. That leaves tons of time to wonder about things like how four people living in a concrete bunker and peeing in a bucket keep their hair looking so good. Or when they find time to sleep. Or why Mina looks several years younger in flashbacks than she would have been if her mom died 15 years ago.

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THR /  🏆 411. in US

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