Even when partners genuinely understand and care about each other, they may have trouble expressing it. Here's why that matters in a relationship—and what to do to make it easier, by davesmallen
, and some appreciate the time to verbally process. We also differ in how we tend to display care to others, so it may be easier or more challenging to be responsive depending on who we are with.We can do things to ensure better that our understanding, validation, and care get across to another person. For example, a recent set of studies explores what the researchers callHigh-quality listening first involves paying, which is key to understanding someone.
The effort we take to understand each other also matters to high-quality listening. Seeing that another person is motivated to understand you shows that they value you. Asking non-judgmental, open-ended questions and gently asking people to elaborate to help you understand also shows you care about them feeling seen and heard.We should neither expect to give nor receive responsiveness perfectly.
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