Holding hands with another person can decrease depression and anxiety and can reduce pain and blood pressure.
When we hold the hand of the person we are romantically involved with, it creates an extra layer of intimacy and a feeling of safety. We also experience a cool process called “—the physiological mirroring of another person. Our breathing patterns begin to match our partner’s when we hold their hand; this is similar to matching someone’s gait while walking. Being in sync with your partner strengthens connection, which bleeds into trust and security. All of this makes us feel really good.
Skin-to-skin contact is not just beneficial for parents and their children; friends and family members benefit from touch too. Most touch we experience is not sexual, and holding hands should not be viewed as an act just between romantic partners. It is a sign that we are able to be confidently vulnerable and connected with someone we love.
Our skin is our biggest organ, and by holding hands with someone we are benefiting from the sensitivity of what we were given at birth to make ourselves feel better. The Touch Research Institute says that holding hands can regulate our nervous system, which is what we often need in time of grief, shock, or fear. Think about the times you watched a scary movie, had a medical procedure done, or had to speak in public; we naturally look for someone with whom we can white-knuckle our way through.
I, and others, have also held hands as an act of resistance or defiance. It is a very clear sign of pride and a message that even if I am afraid, I will not let the world dictate who I can love. This is a privilege not all LGBTQIA+ folks have. Queer people of color, specifically transgender women, are at a. No one should have to think twice about reaching for the security that hand-holding can give us, but the reality is that at times our instinct to survive trumps our instinct to feel good.
Reach out and grab the hand of someone you love whenever you can; it could be the best thing you do for yourself all day.
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