Here's why people feel like they need to lie or make an excuse to get out of a social obligation—and how they can stop the behavior before it harms their relationships, by GSeidmanPhD
. Without directly speaking to someone, we can tell them we're running late for a meeting, or decided to make a last-minute trip to the grocery store on the way home. This also makes it easier to lie. You can text a friend saying you're on your way and just got into the car when you haven't left your house yet. You can tell your spouse you're just finishing up your last drink at the bar, even though you just ordered another round.
We also may find ourselves telling butler lies in order to make an excuse for being unavailable via our phones."Sorry, I didn't see your text, I had my phone on silent during class,""I must have missed your call – my phone battery died,""I couldn't text you back right away because I was driving." People tell butler lies pretty frequently and
. In fact, people may even perceive messages like"sorry, my phone died" as deceptive when they're not, due to the commonality of butler lies.Butler lies may increasingly be becoming a necessity, due to our constant level of connection. Some researchers have discussed the modern condition of, in which people expect constant social connection and communication via smartphones.
Hyper-connectivity creates pressure to respond immediately to texts. That in turn creates pressure toon those occasions when you don't want to respond right away. So, the pressure to be constantly connected can have the unfortunate consequence of actually
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