3 ways to tell if someone genuinely needs support or if they are just acting like a victim to get attention, by DrErinLeonard
with personal tales of woe. Often, the listener can barely offer any support because a pause between the talker’s elongated complaints is rare.for feeling annoyed and admonish herself for her insensitivity. She may compensate by allowing this person to dominate her time. Eventually, resentment may grow and the person may lose patience or attempt to get space.
Second, by acting like the vulnerable and wounded party, the person has an opportunity to inflict guilt. He or she may use hardship as a reason to exploit a person’s kindness. Conversely, a person who is sincerely struggling with a problem may disclose how she feels instead of what he or she wants from the other person. For example, Molly says to Lisa, “Yes, it is hard. I am so restless and in my head all of the time because I am sitting around. Sometimes my brain goes down a rabbit hole and I feel lost. I feelsometimes.” Lisa empathizes, “I understand. You can’t do anything but sit and think. It’s like overthinking in overdrive. It happens to me too. It’s torture.
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