Couples who sleep in separate rooms see no lack of intimacy, only quality sleep.
– Michael Solender and his wife have been together for 42 years. They slept in the same bed for the first 10, taking to separate rooms after that.
Snoring, temperature variations, cover stealers, and tossing and turning often lead to partners sleeping separately. Other issues are also in play, including illness, different work shifts, and partners who go to bed and get up at different times. “It's really a question of people prioritizing their sleep,” Khosla said. “I have had patients who have been married like 60 years and they swear that separate bedrooms is a reason.”The same goes for sleep apnea, a leading cause of heavy snoring, Khosla said. Solender said he went to a sleep specialist after realizing the impact sleep deprivation had on himself and his wife.
“It’s not about avoiding intimacy. It’s about recognizing that you can have intimacy, you can have that time together, but then you just sleep apart. That's a really important part of the conversation. Both partners need to understand and agree,” Khosla said.“Usually it’s somebody's spouse who is snoring or someone who has a spouse's alarm that wakes them up at four in the morning or something like that. We’ll talk about it.
“It started because my husband is a horrible snorer. But also I’m a very light sleeper. He could drop a paperclip on a carpeted floor and I would wake up,” said Daniels, who lives in Tryon, North Carolina. “It would be a great idea to discuss sleep compatibility before you get married. I tend to see it when couples have been married and/or they’ve been together for some time and have been trying to negotiate this for a while,” she said.“In general, you’re more prone to getting things like insomnia or sleep apnea. And so that begins to be bothersome,” she said.
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Specialists say there are benefits to couples sleeping separatelyCouples who sleep in separate rooms see no lack of intimacy, only quality sleep. Specialists agree there are benefits to sleeping apart. For couples considering the split, the experts urge people to seek a sleep evaluation. The problem that's causing chaos may be treatable, such as sleep apnea.
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