'So many broken, beautiful people trying to pick themselves up': Readers share their stories of recovery

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'So many broken, beautiful people trying to pick themselves up': Readers share their stories of recovery
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In response to our newsletter on AA, reader replies reflect the diversity of experience in recovery and the ups and downs of substance use.

This story was originally published in Group Therapy, a weekly newsletter answering questions sent by readers about what’s been weighing on their hearts and minds.

In a nutshell, here’s how AA works: You must be willing to make changes, you must be all in and get a sponsor who knows how the program works. You must make a commitment to attend meetings every day. You must stop trying to control everything. You must be willing to clear your conscience by ridding yourself of resentments, jealousy and remorse. You must make amends to those you may have harmed by your past behavior. You become humble and start respecting other people.

That part isn’t working for me. I also see the disease module as true, and I see the trauma module as true also, as I believe it begins with trauma and develops into a disease. I am 48 and have struggled since age 14 with alcohol and drugs. I had to force myself to believe in something greater than myself. At first it works well, but the power of it fades for me.

This reader credits her recovery to the support of a peer specialist who didn’t make her feel bad about her last relapse:

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