Very impressive.
Few things have read me for filth more thoroughly than an astrology meme I once saw on Instagram. It accused Tauruses of routinely categorizing “sex as exercise.” In fairness, though, it definitely is—or at least, it can be. If you’re tackling one of the zeitgeist’s most challenging, acrobatic sex positions, you’ve probably earned the right to call sex exercise.
1. The Snake I wasn’t lying when I said dangling, upside down, from someone’s shoulders while giving them a blowjob was a real-ass position on this list. The Snake might be the most complicated take on 69 of all time—and it’s undoubtedly the most impressive. 4. The Zombie The Zombie is the perfect position for those of us who are flexible but not too flexible.
6. The Superman About as acrobatic as sex positions come, the Superman requires serious core strength from both partners. Pretend you’re doing doggy style, with your legs wrapped around your partner’s body. Except instead of them kneeling and you lying forward, they’re standing, leaning back, and you’re suspended in mid-air. I’m not sure whether penetration happens before or after this position is assumed, but I’m sure it’s an absolutely bonkers experience for all involved .
9. The Cradle Have your partner sit as if they’re doing the butterfly stretch. Then, facing away from them, climb into their lap, and have them lift you up—knees bent, as if you’re doing child’s pose to the air. Since you’re entirely hands-free , your partner can take total control of the depth and speed of penetration—leaving you entirely submissive.
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