Many women today are opting to forgo parenting, a choice that may be especially common in ADHD circles.
Ellen Littman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, says her clients who have chosen not to have children say they are so challenged by the impact of ADHD on their daily lives that they feel unable to withstand the additional pressures of raising a child.
“Many have grown up in chaotic homes with overwhelmed parents, not the best role models for empathic parent-child relationships,” Littman says. “I think there is less overt societal judgment than ever before, and louder support for not wanting children, especially on social media. Perhaps the acceptance of a wider range of gender identities has resulted in a greater sense of entitlement not to conform to antiquated gender role expectations.
“I know the suffering and frustration that ADHD causes,” said a woman from Arlington, Massachusetts. “I did not want to pass my ADHD on to a child.” “In my 30s, I finally started advocating for my own happiness instead of constantly squeezing myself into other peoples’ expectations and demands,” said an ADDitude reader in the United Kingdom. “I realized I could never be a mom. Children need you to be able to put your interests aside and put them first. Even the idea of someone being that reliant on me is terrifying. Being there for my mom and other family members is already often overwhelming and anxiety-inducing.
For Cecile from Australia, ADHD did not play a role in her decision to have a child-free lifestyle. “I hadn’t found the right partner when I was at the right age to have children. But I’m happy without.”Read
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