Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good

Indonesia Berita Berita

Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good
Indonesia Berita Terbaru,Indonesia Berita utama
  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

WASHINGTON—Citing their ready availability and consistent quality, a report released Monday by the Brookings Institution confirmed that, as far as oyster crackers go, the nation is doing pretty good. “The United States is currently in a very respectable place in terms of oyster crackers, and at present, any existing oyster cracker–related concerns are minimal,” said the report’s lead researcher, Kevin Purcell, who offered the prevalence of oyster crackers in supermarkets, the rarity with which they are discovered broken, and the fact that packets of the crackers—often two at a time—are handed out free of charge with many soups and chowders as clear evidence that the country is in a solid spot, oyster cracker–wise. “Using these small crackers as our sole metric, the findings could not be any clearer: We are doing well as a nation. Our needs for oyster crackers are being met and then some. Could things take a downturn in the future vis-a-vis oyster crackers? Certainly. But there is nothing to suggest that we are moving in that direction as of now.” Researchers acknowledged, however, that despite current positive trends, the country likely would never match up to the golden era of oyster crackers of the late 1840s.

Berita ini telah kami rangkum agar Anda dapat membacanya dengan cepat. Jika Anda tertarik dengan beritanya, Anda dapat membaca teks lengkapnya di sini. Baca lebih lajut:

TheOnion /  🏆 724. in US

Indonesia Berita Terbaru, Indonesia Berita utama

Similar News:Anda juga dapat membaca berita serupa dengan ini yang kami kumpulkan dari sumber berita lain.

Companies With Security Fails Don’t See Their Stocks Drop As Much, According To ReportCompanies With Security Fails Don’t See Their Stocks Drop As Much, According To ReportAs data breaches become more common, they affect a company’s share prices less.
Baca lebih lajut »

Canada water: Lead levels worse than Flint, Michigan, report saysCanada water: Lead levels worse than Flint, Michigan, report says
Baca lebih lajut »

Uber quarterly earnings: Stock drops Monday after earnings reportUber quarterly earnings: Stock drops Monday after earnings report
Baca lebih lajut »

Doctors report success in penis transplant for injured veteranDoctors report success in penis transplant for injured veteranDoctors are reporting success in a penis transplant for a veteran injured by an IED. The man received a new penis, scrotum and lower abdominal wall.
Baca lebih lajut »

Companies With Security Fails Don’t See Their Stocks Drop As Much, According To ReportCompanies With Security Fails Don’t See Their Stocks Drop As Much, According To ReportCompanies with security fails don’t see their stocks drop as much, according to report by skleb1234
Baca lebih lajut »

Fox Corp. Shares Surge After Strong Quarterly Earnings ReportFox Corp. Shares Surge After Strong Quarterly Earnings ReportThe earnings results come a day after Fox agreed to purchase three local TV stations for $350 million.
Baca lebih lajut »



Render Time: 2025-04-25 16:04:11