AUSTIN, TX—Weighing in on the matter after you had dressed for work and departed for the office, a new report issued Thursday determined that your choice of outfit this morning sure was an interesting one. “Wow, you look…um, that’s quite the ensemble you’ve got going there,” the report read in part, before continuing…
AUSTIN, TX—Weighing in on the matter after you had dressed for work and departed for the office, a new report issued Thursday determined that your choice of outfit this morning sure was an interesting one. “Wow, you look…um, that’s quite the ensemble you’ve got going there,” the report read in part, before continuing on to speculate where one would even go to buy something like that.
“No, come on, there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just…it’s just surprising, that’s all. Definitely a statement, too, especially with those shoes. Not in a bad way! Far from it. But you have to admit it’s a combination most people would never consider, and not exactly an easy look to pull off. Oh—oh God, are you crying?” At press time, a supplemental report had been issued stating that you look just fine and asking you to please forget everything that had been said in the initial report.
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LGBTQ+ People In Afghanistan In ‘Grave’ Danger Under Taliban, Report FindsI am a London-based reporter for Forbes covering breaking news. Previously, I have worked as a reporter for a specialist legal publication covering big data and as a freelance journalist and policy analyst covering science, tech and health. I have a master’s degree in Biological Natural Sciences and a master’s degree in the History and Philosophy of Science from the University of Cambridge. Follow me on Twitter theroberthart or email me at rhartforbes.com
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