Remembering David Berman’s Wild Kindness

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Remembering David Berman’s Wild Kindness
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To Rob Sheffield, David Berman wasn’t just a brilliant songwriter. He was also a friend who designed funny t-shirts, wrote touching notes, and punctuated darkness with moments of excruciating beauty

. “David Berman peroxided his hair and wore Mardi Gras beads all the time. That’s a Mudhoney summer.”

I met him when I did an afternoon rock show on WTJU in the 1990; he’d come in and sigh sorrowfully about how whatever band I was spinning wasn’t quite good enough. He taught me a ton about music, teaching me about favorites like the Red Krayola’s Parable of Arable Land. But also I remember a party at his house where he cleared the room by putting on an Oasis 12-inch — “Talk Tonight.” People didn’t know it — a Noel-sung B-side— and its rock gaucheness horrified a few of his guests.

I’ll never forget that letter he wrote, not a word of it. In that scrawl of his — you know it from the records. He put it in an envelope, added a stamp, and put it in the mail. Nineties indie wolfboys, we did our best, we did, but we didn’t write letters like that — we’d always talk ourselves out of it. He liked her—she was blunt and excessive and emotionally incautious, as he was and I wasn’t. I got less so with grief. But he was enough like her to keep checking up on me.

Side note: He told her a great story — I have no idea if it’s true — about hosting Will Oldham and Bill Callahan at his house when they played in town, circa ‘95. They got bored and sent him out to rent a movie. He came back proudly withIn the summer of 1996, he gave us a tape of an album called, with the guys from New Radiant Storm King. It was classic songwriting on par with Randy Newman’s— one of the all-time great Virginia winter-woods albums. “Pretty Eyes,” damn.

His kindness was wiser than his darkness, and he seemed to know that. The music he left behind was his kindness, or at least the version he put his heart and soul into sharing with the world. The world was lucky to have him for a while, holding us to our word. Thanks for your life, DCB.

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