'This is more than I normally desire but still not as much as my partner wants, so it really is a compromise.'
, and he has what is considered a 'normal sex drive' as well as a fetish he enjoys. I have been up front with him from the start about being gray. I have absolutely no sexual attraction to him but do enjoy sex to a certain extent a couple of times a month — mostly for the touch. I also enjoy giving him pleasure and watching him take that pleasure. It works for us because we communicate our needs openly.
"The best things I can do to want to have sex is by making sure my mental health is good, and I’m feeling good — and that my wife and I are in a good place and haven’t argued recently or anything like that in addition to not being distracted with work or stuff. And those conditions are only met every so often, but when I’m not in a good place, I have no desire for sex. I’ve told my wife I am more than happy for her to have sex with other people so long as she tells me about it.
"That was in my early 20s though, so maybe that was just the youth acting. But, I do wish my partner and I had more sex. I try to be understanding of his low sex drive, but it’s tough. It’s put us in bad situations in the past where I’ve found myself wanting to explore other options sexually, but never would follow through.
"It’s also good that we don’t have sex too often to help build a stronger bond between each other and focus on other aspects of our relationshipPhotoalto / Via Getty Images/PhotoAlto"My husband and I haven't had sex since 2017, for a variety of reasons. I masturbate when I need to 'scratch the itch'; he's asexual and doesn't really think about it. We are still extremely affectionate with one another and will be married for 10 years in October.
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