Perspective: My godmother taught me how to live without financial fear
My own mother was challenged in so many ways, and she abandoned me and my four young siblings to the care of my maternal grandmother, Big Mama.
Lois, or the Rev. Lois Bethea-Thompson, passed on a different financial legacy. Whereas my grandmother was fearful of me going to college, Lois encouraged my pursuit of higher education. She modeled generosity beyond her nuclear family. She showed me the power of showing up for not just the big life events but for the minor ones, too — and what that can do to lift people’s confidence and help them succeed.
The first time I visited her single-family home in a tony upper-income neighborhood in Baltimore, I was in awe. It wasn’t just the house that impressed me but the grace of Lois’s caregiving. She always made me feel so welcomed in her home. There wasn’t a room in her house you couldn’t go into, unlike homes where the living room wasn’t to be lived in but was a showplace with furniture covered in plastic that you’d still better not sit your butt on.
Lois taught me that if you’ve saved for it, you could spend money for fun and not fret or feel guilty. I still struggle with that, but less so because of my godmother.It’s because of Lois that my husband and I decided more than 20 years ago to take two-week vacations, often bringing along extended family members just as she would do when she took trips. The memories we’ve created visiting places such as Aruba, Hawaii, St. Thomas and, our favorite summer jaunt, Hilton Head, S.C., are priceless.
What I will remember most is how Lois showed up for everything — graduations, my kids’ plays, certificate ceremonies, music recitals, and when I would do financial workshops at my church.She was there when I gave birth to my first child. And she was there for that child when sheDuring her more than two-month stay in the hospital, my husband and I took turns staying 24/7 with our daughter Olivia, who was suffering from a rare autoimmune disease.
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