Carolyn Hax: Is it ever okay to return an adopted cat to the shelter?
It is clear this is not a family-friendly cat. We have heaped love and toys on her, talked with her vet, provided the proper food, stimulation, quiet spaces, etc., and it's not working. The cat hisses every time anyone tries to get close , poops on the floor routinely — even though we have done ALL the vet's suggestions about litterboxing — and causes lots of stress to me and my kids. She has attacked all three of us, completely unprovoked. I get along great with other cats.
Is it ever okay to give a cat back to the shelter? I feel she would be much happier in a different, quieter home. My kids would be devastated, even though they know I deal with 99 percent of the cat issues.This sounds like a miserable animal, so, yes, allowing the shelter to find her a more appropriate home might be the only humane choice you have. Talk to the shelter staff. If you’re feeling ashamed — I’ve returned a pet, and felt awful — then please let yourself off the hook.
Maybe it’s all the pandemic time at home and political stress and upcoming events that have triggered my frustration … any ideas on how to cope/redirect those feelings would be great.Please, I beg, find something you like to do that can occupy a slab of your weekends. I’m not typically so bean-count-y, but this is going to gnaw at you unless and until you have something in your life to make you look forward to those six-plus hours every weekend.
… Unless you start to look forward to weekends to be rid of him — but the whole point of my advice is to preempt that alienation.