Perspective: One spouse feels better for not eating sugar anymore, and the other loves to bake and share desserts. Which one needs to compromise?
The problem? My spouse is a great cook who loves making desserts and sharing them with me. I realize this sounds like a good problem to have for a lot of people, but I’m really wishing I could just permanently banish dessert.— Just DessertsTo zero extent. And that it’s a problem at all means it’s not a good problem to have.
Put this in any other context and it’s clear: If you had an allergy, then you wouldn’t be expected to eat lovingly prepared allergens. If you were in recovery, then you wouldn’t be expected to drink lovingly prepared cocktails. If you had a knee injury, then you wouldn’t be expected to partake lovingly in weekend hikes just because it’s an activity your spouse wants to share with you.This is obviously a bummer.
It is on you to be clear about this and to show your love in other ways that don’t hurt you, and it’s on your spouse to accept this about you fully and not respond as if it’s a personal rejection.covers two cookbooks that might make your marriage a little sweeter.· I have this problem, only I’m the spouse who loves to bake and my husband is the one who’s trying to cut back.
· At first it feels like rejection when people refuse your previously accepted efforts to love them with food. Keep affirming your love for your spouse while declining sugary dessert: “Sweetie, I love you. You know I can’t eat that.” · I got a big chuckle out of this. I lost 100 pounds some years back. One of the most interesting permutations of the change was how unbelievably long it took for my relatives to get over my changed habits. It was almost as if the adjustment was harder for them than it was for me. Hilarious, it was.
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