Satire by Alexandra Petri: Opinion | Vote for me to run elections, and you’ll never have to vote again
But this is the last time, I promise! After I am elected, you will never have to worry about voting again. That’s my pledge to you.
And there is one thread that runs through all of this nastiness: people voting. This is bad, and I want them to stop, at least until we can get a handle on everything. The only way to make absolutely certain nobody has an unpleasant time voting is to make absolutely certain nobody votes. And that is what I vow to do.
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