One Doctor's Psychedelic Journey to Confront His Cancer

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One Doctor's Psychedelic Journey to Confront His Cancer
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Psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms, has been shown to help reduce anxiety and fear in terminally ill patients. This is one doctor’s experience.

Pradeep Bansal considered the five capsules he was about to swallow. Together they made up a 25 milligram dose of a substance that, in another setting, could have landed him in federal prison.

One study from Johns Hopkins University tracked the effects of a single guided dose of psilocybin in terminal cancer patients with anxiety and depression. More than 80% had a"significant decrease" in symptoms -- even 6 months after treatment -- with more than 60% of the group remaining in the normal mood range.

Maybe he would feel"funny," he thought. Maybe he would have some hallucinations. But how would that change the reality of his cancer? How would it lift the black dread and anxiety he felt about his future?Bansal had first noticed blood in his urine -- a lot of it -- in September 2019. But a routine scan in June 2020 revealed more cancer in his lung. Within a couple of months, it was in his bladder too.As doctors scheduled surgery to remove part of his lung, Bansal started on painful immunotherapy for his bladder.

As he searched for something to ease his mental anguish, Bansal recalled some psychedelic research on end-of-life anxiety and depression that he'd read about in Michael Pollan's 2018 book on psychedelics, The studies were small and the research was new, but Bansal was impressed enough with the results to take a chance. He called a lead researcher of one of the studies, a fellow New York doctor, and eventually found himself accepted into a new study.

He connected with a therapist who would be his personal guide. Bansal's therapist was a military psychiatrist with over 30 years' experience."He asked me a lot of personal background history -- you know, my religious convictions, aspirations, all those things."For Bansal, a doctor and scientist accustomed to using hard facts rather than touchy-feely slogans to navigate the care of patients, it was an adjustment, to say the least.

A doctor, the lead investigator of the study, brought the five capsules into the room in an intricately carved crucible with a small ceremonial cup that held the water with which to take it.The doctor said:"Don't worry about it. Just trust and let go."Bansal swallowed the capsules and lay down. The doctor quietly left the room so that Bansal and his psychiatrist guide could begin their session together.

"You take care of the physical aspects of the cancer, right? You talk about side effects and recommend another scan to look for recurrence."They can be very serious and too often go ignored, says Agrawal. Your plans for the future suddenly become moot. You may be concerned about your ability to work or worried about the pain and suffering and financial strain that might be ahead for both you and your family. And to top it all off, you're staring into the face of your own mortality.

And so after his psychedelic certification at the California Institute of Integral Studies , Agrawal was determined to change his approach. Bansal saw himself being crushed by a huge machine and buried, dead, in the Earth. He died and returned to life several times, glided over the top of New York City with the skyscrapers just below him, and took in the vision of the entire universe.

"At one point, I saw this giant Ferris wheel coming towards me and it was full of giant crabs, clicking and clacking their pincers. And my brain told me, 'That's my cancer!'" After about 8 hours, as the effects of the drug wore off, Bansal removed his eyeshades and headphones. He was completely drained.

And yet there was nothing"easy" about the experience. In fact, in some ways the experience demanded more from him. That's not an unusual response, according to the namesake of The Bill Richards Center for Healing. Richards, PhD, has worked in the world of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy since 1963.

The goal is to help participants absorb and"integrate" their experience. It typically happens over two or more sessions of 60 to 90 minutes with a therapist. In some cases, the therapist may invite a significant other to join in the integration process.

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