AmericanSongContest is so bland not even earthbound goddess Kelly Clarkson can save it
”—the whole endeavor was egregiously bland for something so ambitious, let alone with such cheeky, anything-goes roots.is actually quite refreshing. Who knew what a pleasure it would be to excise the exploding egos masquerading as pointless celebrity judging panels? But as far as must-watch television? Even if we might be new-boot-goofin’ our way through the streets tomorrow—cursing Wyoming’s Ryan Charles the whole time —the whole big premiere night was kind of a big ole meh.
Bolton competed in the premiere on behalf of his home state of Connecticut, exhibiting all the outsized charisma you’d expect from a Boomer that hails from Connecticut. While the most famous name of the night, he was maybe the least memorable, save for Clarkson being absolutely adorable playing fangirl after he sang.
The Minnesota group Yam Haus jokes that, “Every time someone sneezes in Minnesota, a lake is born… And a hockey player.” Their song, “Ready to Go,” which opened the show, sounds like a track off a recent Jonas Brothers album. Or maybe Disney Channel-era Jonas Brothers. Mall-tour Jonas Brothers?
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