You should never be out in public and say, “We’ve been up all night vomiting.”
I address vomit in my unpublished manuscript. Two to three chapters are dedicated to my contempt for the stomach bug, and I know I am supposed to save a lot of my material for the book, but oh well. The first publisher I met with asked me who my target audience was. I said, “
As I lie here now, my life is collapsing outside the threshold of my bedroom. My dear husband is a wonder. He can bring home the bacon, change diapers, feed humans—you name it, Justin’s got it. But it isn’t the same. You heard me. I grabbed my children, our jackets, to heck with the casserole I made. It had been contaminated. It was probably too late, but I had to try. I had to save my family. I whistled, giving my husband the signal that this is not a drill. His jaw tensed, he scanned the room, ignoring the conversation in which he’d been involved: Code Red. He didn’t bother to excuse himself, he scurried sideways, eyes darting about the gymnasium. He form-tackled a toddler and grabbed the diaper bag.
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