'They looked buff, but my muscles also tightened and weakened as they grew. My biceps had grown too muscular and weak for me to put on earrings.'
Courtesy of Sally Massagee
I decided that when I felt stressed, I would stop and ask myself what, exactly, I feared. Was it that I wouldn’t finish a tax return in time, or that I would need a wheelchair soon, or that my muscles would eventually smother me? Then I crafted a mental picture of a great outcome: delivering the tax return, starting to jog again, breathing easy.It turned out to be a good plan, and the process helped me. But dealing with my fear wasn’t an easy or occasional exercise.
In June 2007, near the beginning of my search for what was wrong with me, an MRI had shown no tumor. In May 2008, a second MRI showed a pituitary growth. The surgeon said that lots of people got them ― maybe as much as 15% of the population ― but that they often appeared temporarily and were usually not a problem.
“Things like this happen ― more often than you’d expect,” the nurse told me. “Sometimes there’s a greater power at work.”I felt in my bones that I’d had no immediate, miraculous healing. My body was the same inert, stubborn self it had become over the previous two years.
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