My husband won't survive to see our children grow up without a blood stem cell donor – here's how you could help

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My husband won't survive to see our children grow up without a blood stem cell donor – here's how you could help
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Blood stem cell donor: Lucy Dindoyal is on the hunt for a Mauritian stem cell donor to help save her husband and father to their two young children.

October 06, 2021 - 16:51 BST Bridie Wilkins Mum-of-two Lucy Dindoyal, 46, from north London says her life turned into a"nightmare" after husband Hedley, 50, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Following two unsuccessful rounds of chemotherapy, the family of four are on the hunt for a blood stem cell donor – the key to saving Hedley and ensuring Milo, 12, and Jasmine, nine,"have their dad around to watch them grow up and guide them through life". Lucy tells her story.

"Hedley went through six rounds of chemo but they were unsuccessful and on Christmas Eve 2020, I called 999 for an ambulance. He had a neutropenic sepsis infection, but with covid in full swing, we waited a few hours and nothing came, so I drove him to hospital and had to leave him there. Coming home to our kids without him on Christmas Eve was heartbreaking. Fortunately, he was allowed home for a few days, but his health worsened and he needed to go back.

"A week later we learned of an alternative treatment: a stem cell transplant, but from donor cells rather than his own. This wasn't straightforward though – we needed a match for Hedley's ethnicity – a British-born Mauritian – and people from minority ethnic backgrounds have just a 20% chance of finding a matching blood stem cell donor, compared to 69% for northern European backgrounds. This is where we are now – searching for a donor.

"They've always said, 'Well, dad is invincible, he'll be OK,' but deep down I'm sure they have fears and worries which they can't always articulate. I try to keep lines of conversation open with them, but not push too much.

"When I try and explain my situation to others, I tell them to imagine being stuck on your own for months, not knowing when or if you were going to go home and see your family, with no fresh air or familiar faces. It's a nightmare for us to see Hedley going through that, and for Hedley to helplessly experience it. Then, just when the nightmare seems to be coming to an end, you get plunged back in. It's scary and lonely, and totally out of your control.

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