Plus: If your husband won’t dance, he can sit back and enjoy watching you
Well, if it’s not an excuse, what is it? How should one respond to what seems like an attempt to have it both ways?It is called extenuating circumstances. Or throwing oneself on the mercy of the court.
But as you point out, it is not an excuse, and you need not accept it as one. Miss Manners would permit you to say sadly, “No, I’m afraid you are right — it is not an excuse.”In my youth, I was taught how to dance. I was also taught that your escort was always your partner for the first and last dances. It signaled to others that this is the person with whom you arrived, and with whom you are leaving.
I love dancing. My husband does not. It was all I could do to get him to move in circles for one song at my nieces’ weddings. The dilemma is that we will soon be attending a concert by a band that encourages dancing in the aisles during shows. I would be more than happy to dance alone or with any partner, but I also want to prevent insult to my husband.
Would I be wrong to follow my love of dance and leave my husband in his seat for most of the concert?Your husband has a choice: Dance, or look up occasionally and smile proudly at how delightfully you dance. Miss Manners would consider it an insult to your marriage to believe that he would begrudge you some innocent enjoyment that he does not care to share.As I’ve gotten older, I attend more “celebrations of life” and “family remembrances.
I have so many responses whirling around in my mind when I hear this, but none seem appropriate. Smiling and nodding does not seem right, either. I do not believe in an afterlife, for whatever that’s worth.This is not to say that Miss Manners believes in getting into theological debates at funerals, or that she fails to acknowledge that people often make remarks that may be cruel or stupid when they believe that they are offering comfort.
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