Plus: Do I need to send a thank you note for a losing lottery ticket?
What’s the protocol for such requests? Is it expected to give a nominal amount if someone you know “hits you up” specifically? Do I explain why I won’t be contributing or just pay up?The world is full of people in need, and Miss Manners commends your sympathetic attitude. But even rich philanthropists know that they can’t help everyone and must judge cases in order to use their donations effectively.
Donating to “whoever I know who happens to ask” is not a good plan. And “not thinking twice” is not a good policy. You should be deciding how much charity you can afford and giving it to people or causes you are truly moved to help — not people you feel are taking advantage of you, and even hounding you.
Online pleas may be ignored. For face-to-face ones, you should express sympathy, but explain nothing more than that you have committed your charitable budget elsewhere.A relative sent me a card for my birthday with a single lottery ticket, just for fun. I didn’t end up winning anything. Is a lottery ticket considered a gift, and if so, should I write a thank-you note? Would the answer change if I had won something?Yes and yes. As it is, you could write, “I had such fun thinking how you and I could enjoy all that money.”
Had you won, Miss Manners suggests something more like, “I know you have been wanting a new car, and I’m so happy to now be able to get it for you.”
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