Miss Manners: I’m sorry I lost my temper, but ...

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Miss Manners: I’m sorry I lost my temper, but ...
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Several people of my acquaintance are in the habit of offering a rationale for poor behavior ...

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several people of my acquaintance are in the habit of offering a rationale for poor behavior, quickly followed by, “But that’s not an excuse.” For example: “I’m sorry I lost my temper and dumped that bowl of egg salad on your head. Work has just been so stressful lately, and I’m not getting much sleep. But that’s not an excuse!”

Well, if it’s not an excuse, what is it? How should one respond to what seems like an attempt to have it both ways? GENTLE READER: It is called extenuating circumstances. Or throwing oneself on the mercy of the court. But as you point out, it is not an excuse, and you need not accept it as one. Miss Manners would permit you to say sadly, “No, I’m afraid you are right -- it is not an excuse.”

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