I worry that one of the attendants will not display the proper decorum in my photos.
We have a sort of rotating moderator who sends out reminders and lists of books, and keeps discussions on topic when they veer off too far into grandchildren and health issues.
One member wants to reward her, and is collecting for a substantial monetary gift. I am offended and appalled that we would offer money to a friend for doing a good job. I think a modest gift card from a bookstore, or better, a beautiful bouquet, would be much more appropriate .In these crass times, Miss Manners is grateful to hear of someone who considers it insulting to pay social acquaintances for helping out. It downgrades acts of generosity to being paid services.
So you are right to think of whitewashing the situation and laundering the money. A book or flowers, sure, but what about throwing a luncheon in her honor, with the members expressing their admiration? One of the most lasting presents possible is explicit appreciation.I have a neighbor who purchases a table at a charity gala every year. She then “invites” my husband and me to pay for individual seats at her table, telling me that the tickets are tax-deductible.
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