'There’s a better way of talking about gender equality that makes men feel like they have a stake in the fight too.'
they've been fed to define themselves and their experiences, and how we can all adjust to make this happen.spoke with Plank about our cultural attachments to masculine behavior, and how a joking conversation with her sister birthed a modern look at the ways we all interact with gender in our lives.
The whole point of this book is NOT, in fact, to tell men and women how to act, but to encourage everyone to act like themselves.: I’ve followed your work for seven years, and assumed going into it that I already knew what the larger takeaway of this book was going to be. Being surprised was my favorite part. I had, sheepishly, never once considered my own role or expectations in the way we expect men to behave.: Writing the book was a journey itself.
Exactly. The first thing we ask about a pregnancy is, “is it a boy? Is it a girl? What are you having?”: A few years ago, when you were first looking to sell this book, a female publisher told you, “Men don’t buy books.” How does it feel to think back to that moment now?: I just remember immediately internalizing it, and thinking, “OK, well then I have to write something different.” The people in that meeting wanted me to write the new generation’s “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
I just think there’s a better way of talking about gender equality that makes men feel like they have a stake in the fight too.: In 2015. I was having ramen with my sister, and we were making jokes about how wouldn’t it be great if men could have a guidebook, so that we wouldn’t feel so hurt by so many men. There’s a history of trauma in our family. Male violence has been a real fixture of our lives.
I love men. It’s the reason why I spent four years of my life devoted to this book. I used to feel very upset when I would see people misunderstanding my message, and accuse me of hating all men. I’ve dedicated so much of my life to men, to understanding them better, to creating something that could help them, so it was especially piercing when I would see someone who hadn’t listened to what I was actually trying to say, accusing me of feeling a way I didn’t feel. I’m just trying to help.
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