'We're all scattered messes,' annetdonahue
This is because forever tends to connote a sense of completion: I feel like this, and this is how I’ll feel forever. I’m doing this, so I will do this thing forever. This is who I am right now, and this is who I’ll be forever. Which of course, isn’t true. Nothing is the only thing that lasts forever, and for that we should all be eternally grateful. We are who we need to be for a moment or for a purpose. But to assume we’ll be that way indefinitely is hugely limiting.
When I started going to therapy again this year, I sat across from my therapist and told her how I felt split in two. I liked who I was when I was working; when I asserted myself and could separate feelings from logic and could channel any negativity I was feeling into my work. And I hated the other version of me: the one who took things too personally, who got hurt by those careless with my feelings, and who couldn’t exist as an island alone.
She went to the whiteboard and had me run off a list of traits I identified with myself, and introduced to me the idea of being congruent; of being okay with stepping into the person you need to be for the moment. As in: sometimes you need to be assertive or angry or cold. And other times call for being soft or vulnerable or sad. And none of aforementioned will last forever. Within a day , you’ll go on to channel another part of yourself that will help you cope with whatever you’re doing.
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