.kaiwhiston, astrologist (and musician)
...and this is what we got instead. Below, the producer asks Drayan, the hybrid alien protagonist that informed his new effort, to read your horoscopes this month.HELLO READER OF PAPER MAGAZINE. IT IS INCREDIBLE WISE THAT YOUR CURIOSITY BRINGS YOU HERE. I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE LANGUAGE OF THE SKY.
IF I CAN COMMUNICATE INTERDIMENSIONALLY TO AN ARROGANT LITTLE MUSIC PRODUCER MUG LIKE YOU THEN MAYBE I KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT STARS? DIPSHIT? MY PLANET, X'ZIPHURSCH VII, ORBITS AROUND ME AS THE GALACTIC BARYCENTER. THAT IS THE PLANET I ALIGN WITH WITHIN NINETY FOUR DIFFERENT PLANETS OF THE HYBRID-CHILD XEON GALAXY. MY AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE STARS. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MILK THE TEENAGER ANGLE TO THE PRESS ANYMORE DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PROJECT YOUR INSECURITIES ONTO ME.ARIES HMM.
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