Jason Gay: Don't Talk To Me About Your Fantasy Football Team

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Jason Gay: Don't Talk To Me About Your Fantasy Football Team
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'It's nothing personal,' Jason Gay writes. 'I'd just rather hear you talk about your cat.' (via OnlyAGameNPR)

Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw models a potential shed design for fantasy football fans.

Except when it comes to the topic of fantasy football. Then I don’t want to hear about it. And I know I’m not alone.And if that includes the infernal habit of fantasy football — i.e. selecting a scattershot team of NFL players to whom you’ll attach your emotions for the next five months — well, then good for you.

"Fantasy football is huge today. Huge! It's America’s second most popular hobby, just behind screaming at strangers on the internet."But have you ever listened to someone talk about his or her fantasy football team? It’s like listening to someone talk about their cat, but worse.I don’t care that your running back is underperforming. I don’t care that your quarterback was a steal. I don’t care that you have great optimism in yielding points from the Houston Texans defense.

The good news is you have some options. If you live with someone who plays fantasy football, I don’t want you to consider divorce or separation or buying a plane ticket to the South of France and never coming back.Now take that lumber and a bunch of nails and pound away in the yard for a few hours until you have constructed a handsome single-room structure with room for a hot plate and a lawn chair.

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